How often in one day do you say “Just 5 minutes to myself…” or “Can’t I even go to the bathroom?” If you find yourself asking these questions then you need some Mommy Time. Mommy Time is important. VERY important for everyone’s sanity. When Mommy (or Daddy) isn’t happy…well let’s just say make sure you get at least a little time to yourself each day.
Everyone on the planet needs time for themselves. Everyone. It is important for your sanity and well being. Now if you are a stay at home parent…you need it more than most. I love my kids and I love spending time with them but I also love my sanity. I make sure I get my Mommy Time every day…even if it’s only 5 minutes or so it helps.
Sometimes Mommy Time is dropping the kids off for a play date, or a sport and you get that time to yourself. Sometimes its a whole day! or wine with friends, a day at the spa or just a movie. Sometimes it’s not Mommy Time it’s Daddy Time if he is the primary care giver or Stay at Home parent.
I have the kids during the day. Sometimes I get to drop one off at Preschool and the other off at child watch at our Y and I get to sit and work (or play) on my laptop there. That’s nice…I like those times and I get a surprising about of work done when that happens. On days when I work and they are in school I don’t get much Mommy time though.
My husband comes home around 5ish and makes dinner so I can’t exactly hand the kids off to him. No matter how much I would like too and how hard I try. The only Mommy time I get on days like that is after they are asleep. Not in bed..oh no…they have to be asleep for me to get piece and quiet. Then we try to have some time together without kids. Usually we get really tired and pass out but occasionally we get to watch a whole movie!
During the day I try to steal as much ME time as I can. I have been known to pretend to have to pee to steal a few minutes…with the door locked because they will find you! They always find you…When my husband is home though I tend to take longer in the bathroom. He gets the kids and I get at least 10 minutes or so to myself…I wish I could take baths so I could have longer and more relaxing times.
Here are some ways to get some alone time. You might only get a few minutes sometimes but those few minutes are glorious.
- Bathroom – Yep! Tell the kids you have to go potty and go in and lock the door and relax with your phone or music or just the fan on to drown out the noise of little knocks and voices. It isn’t much but its a quick few minutes break.
- Babysitter – We can’t always afford a babysitter so this isn’t an option we can use often but when we can we get Date Night! Always a bonus and needed as much as alone time.
- Family – If you have family (or friends that are family) living nearby you can ask them to babysit for an hour every so often. This gives you a free hour away to yourself!
- Family/Friend – Ask a friend or family member (or teenager down the street that you trust) to just come help with the kids while you work. This gives you someone to entertain the kids in one room and tend to their “I’m hungry, I need to potty, she hit me” moments while you tune it all out in another room. Possibly free option here too.
- Work out – Working out at a gym not only helps de-stress you (it reduces depression too!) and make you healthy but it doubles as Mommy Time. I work out at the Y and they have a fantastic child watch area. Drop the kids off there and I get 2 hours to myself. Yes part of that time is Hot Tub Time!
- Spouse – If you have a partner (I don’t care if you have a husband, wife, BF, GF or Live in very close friend) that helps with the kids on a daily basis ask them to handle everything one night a week (if you can) or at least once a month while you go out with friends, go shop, take your laptop or tablet to a coffee shop and relax or just go for a walk. Also would work for wine nights with the girls.
- Spa Day – I can’t afford an actual Spa day so my spa day means Mani/Pedi and I don’t get those often. The husband keeps the kids while I and a friend go get our nails done ( I don’t ever say nails or hair did…) and have lunch or dinner depending on the time. Sometimes Mommy Time isn’t alone time.
These are just a few suggestions on what you can do and how you can do to get some alone time or Mommy Time. If you do not get any Mommy Time for too long bad things will happen. Now here are a few things I learned that are signs that you NEED Mommy Time. Watch for these signs or have a laugh because you already are living these signs (or just had some Mommy Time after having done some of these).
- Lots of Bathroom Breaks – The bathroom move is a desperate measure but it DOES work sometimes. Sometimes they still find you and if they are smart little…angels…they know how to use a penny to unlock the door. Yeah…that happens…
- You are so tired that you need a nap or fall asleep sitting up in the middle of the afternoon. This is a good indicator but not to be confused with waking up because your child wakes up a lot…for that you just need Mommy Sleep Time. I like to find a different place in the house to sleep so my husband has to deal with them waking up.
- When you put milk in the pantry and cereal in the fridge next to the remote control for the TV. Or my favorite moment was putting the milk where the bowls go and the cereal where the milk when and trying to eat it with a fork…yeah it happens.
- You find yourself muttering under your breath…a lot.
- You are REALLY cranky but get mad when people mention the crankiness.
- You can’t remember the last conversation you had with an adult that didn’t involve talking mostly about your kids.
- You confused the shine of freshly showered hair with the shine of desperate need for a shower hair.
Yes…these things have happened. Mommy Time is important although it might not stop all of these things from happening. I’ve been known to muttering even when I’ve had Mommy Time recently.
My husband is nice enough to make sure that I get some alone time. In fact he makes sure that I get to mostly be left alone daily and at least 1 day each week where I get an hour or two completely to myself to do whatever. I think he likes it when I’m sane as much as anyone. Although he finds me highly amusing when I am over tired. I think it’s just because I find everything hilarious.
SO the lesson here is for the sake of yourself and everyone you hold dear…get some time to yourself. Get a Mani or Pedi (or both), work out a bit, take a nap, read a book, play a game or just sit and breath even for 5 minutes. Anything to keep yourself calm, refreshed and SANE. Your world depends on your sanity. By your world of course I mean your kids, husband and anyone who ever has to come into contact with you.
Every day at least find at least 10 minutes and once a week find an hour to yourself. If you can do longer do it! You jump on that extra time because you never know when you will get the opportunity again. Do yourself (and everyone who knows you) a favor and MAKE some time for yourself.